Three weeks... Tiredness kills

Samuel is three weeks old and generally doing really well. He seems to be struggling a little bit at the moment to be content though. I think he has a tummy problem, he seems to be in pain and grouching a lot in his sleep or when he is awake especially if he is not being held. He will also cry out when feeding and scream and arch his back sometimes before he does a poo. He feeds very frequently and he is basically leaking poo all the time which is making his bottom very sore. We have been to the doctors and have cream for him bum and we are going back today. I hope it is not something that I am eating that is making his tummy hurt. If anyone has any ideas then please let me know!

At three weeks Samuel is very strong and can hold his head up on his own for quite a few seconds and he even rolled from his front to his back once a few days ago (but I think this must've been a fluke as he is a bit little for that!). He is putting on lots of weight and I am already missing him being so tiny like when he was first born. Three weeks seems more like three months in some ways.

My general feeling at the moment is of complete and utter exhaustion. It is actually painful how tired I am. Last night was particularly sleepless and Samuel basically wouldn't sleep unless he was on top of me or in bed with us. Today I can hardly move, my head hurts, my body hurts and my brain hurts. When I am up in the middle of the night changing nappies and feeding I just don't see how I can live like this! Luckily I know this wont last forever but it is hard to remember that sometimes. Then Samuel will look at me with his big, beautiful darkest blue eyes and pout his little lips and I will know that I can do this and would do anything for him, the same feeling I had and have for Jacob.

I read a really great and funny article on about 'when new mums get angry'. It describes the irrationality and craziness that can overcome you when you are a new mum and how it can effect your relationships. I have to say I agreed with most of it. I do feel lucky however that I have such a supportive husband who is around at the moment to help and support me and I really appreciate him. Unlike the writer of that article I do mostly succeed in not becoming the crazy version of myself when feeling off my rocker with tiredness (NB I said *mostly* The Daddy may disagree!).

Our days are filled with family fun during these summer holidays and we are really enjoying it. We have been to the beach, parks and the zoo and lots of parties for Jacob's friends too. I'm so lucky that I have had their dad with me to help. I am a bit scared about being left on my own when he goes back to work! Jacob is really enjoying all the activity and attention and is still being really affectionate towards his little bro. I think he is starting to get the hang of being a bit more gentle and we have only had a few little times when he is being a bit of a 'rat bag' and testing the boundaries. We are all learning how to get on with this new little life in the middle of ours I guess and Jacob is no different!


Anonymous said…
Hi Lois kerry here. So lovely to read your thoughts and, feelings. You have a beautiful family and you are an amazing mum. Your doing good a great job. X X X lots of love x
Emma said…
Hi Lulu, I just wanted to say that I've just read all your fantastic, informative and personal blog posts on your new lives with Samuel and I could not be more proud of you! You are truly *AMAZING*! I can't imagine how challenging it must be to bring a new life into the world and deal with all the huge changes that are completely out of your control. You are such a fantastic mummy and Adam is an awesome daddy and husband to you. Jacob is becoming the most wonderful little boy thanks to the guidance and love he has from both of you. I hope this doesn't make you cry! But hey, all emotion is valuable in some way :) Love you all so much and we can't wait to meet Samuel xxxx

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