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Showing posts from March, 2013

... and breathe..

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The Easter break has come at the perfect time. Back at work for a few weeks and just getting used to it and now I get a whole two weeks off with my family. I’m more confident now that going back to work was the right thing to do (not that I had much choice anyway). The pressure seems to have really lifted. Having a routine with work and the little one, getting a bit fitter, seeing friends and going out.. Life seems to have a good balance to it now. I love my little man so much and he really is my world, my heart is also full of love for his dad and all of my family and friends. I am lucky to have such a great network of support around me. Now I am able to really be me. I’ve got into playing netball and the ukulele and photography as well as looking after my family and myself. Spending some good time with family, a new outfit for a night out last night and this weekend I feel very satisfied with life and well rounded. I’m looking forward to the future. Now all we need is some sunshine.…

Photo beginnings...

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Here is my favorite photo from last week. This is the little man just after his bath. He always tries to crawl away from me when I'm trying to get him dressed. He goes so fast and then turns around to peek around the corner and see if I'm coming after him!
I've been getting into photography lately. Apps like instagram have made me get into it more and the little man's Dad has been really encouraging me too, telling me I have an eye for it so I've decided to get a camera and see how I get on. I've bought a Fujifim Finepix HS30 EXR bridge camera and so far I'm loving it. Its easy to use, feels and looks good and the settings seem to allow a novice like me to get some lovely snaps. I've used pixlr to edit the photo above and add effects. I love the slightly vintage look to this one.
Everyone always says these days go too fast so I think that capturing the memories any way I can is really valuable and I know I will treasure these memories forever. I think t…

The gruesome miracle - If only I'd known...

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I never watched One Born Every Minute or Maternity Ward before I'd given birth because I'm a bit of a worrier anyway and didn't need any encouragement to think too much more about what birth would entail. I still don't really watch it but I caught a glimpse the other night of a new life being wrestled into this world and it got me thinking about the gruesome miracle of birth and what I wish I had known...

Everyone knows it can be long, ugly, beautiful, stressful, surprising and will be painful but I didn't know that I would want to have recorded more of that in some way!

I heard the term 'memory collector' the other day and that is definitely what I am. This year I started a journal which I write every day, this blog and I have got into photography. There's also an app called One Second Everyday which I love and creates a great collection of one second of your videos all mashed together (definitely one to look into if you are a memory collector too).

Yummy Mummy?

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I have been reading a few posts on  Slummy Mummy's blog about getting back in shape after having a baby and keeping things (like waxing) on the agenda when you might rather have a little nap!

Going back to work has spurred me on a bit to think about who I am (hence the blog) and get back to being me as well as being mum. I was never hugely into sport apart from dance and couldn'd find a place to do that where I live but when I heard about a "back to netball" club near me I thought I'd give it a try... and I LOVE it! All the skills came flooding back from school and it's a great atmosphere to learn again in as all the other ladies are in a similar boat. My fitness wasn't as bad as I thought it was and I've even started jogging now too (well its more half jog half walk at the moment but you have to start somewhere).



I'm really pleased that I am trying to do something about my fitness and I think it will impact well on other areas of my life, …

FIRST chocolate treats!!!

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Easter is on the way and so I thought that me and the little one could have a go at a simple bit of  "cooking" to celebrate (although as he is still so small it was really me doing the cooking and him doing the tasting!). As you can see this "fancy fruity chocolate nest" was quite tempting in the end!


This easter our little family of 3 are off to center parcs with the grandparents and my sister to celebrate my mum's 60th birthday. I am so pleased as I havent been since I was little and the feeling that the place gives me inside is something I can hardly describe. It just feels so special and I am over the moon that I can hopefully share this with my little man. I'm worried he might be a bit small to get the benefit of being there but I'm sure the vibes will be really exciting for him anyway and we have booked to take him to the soft play area and some other activites he will like - apart from the SWIMMING which I know he will love. I'm really looki…

Work guilt

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Feeling guilt for leaving your baby is all part of being a working mum (even if I am working 3 days a week) but the guilt doesn't stop with just leaving him so that I can work...

Nearly two weeks into being back to work and it has got surprisingly less difficult to leave the little man in the morning. My parents seem ok looking after him and he shows very few signs of missing me... This is something I'm obviously happy about (I would hate to think he was sad) but it does make me worry that maybe he doesn't miss me at all!?

Spending more time away from Jacob is also making me think much more about the days we do spend together. Before I went back to work there were days where I'd be looking forward to his naps so I could have a bit of me time but if i feel that now it also makes me feel guilty. I should be treasuring every second and making our time together really count.

I do wonder whether I'm missing out, whether being apart from him is good for us both, wheth…

9 months already

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Jacob is 9 months old today and it has gone so quickly. So much has changed and it has been a roller coaster.
The first few days and weeks I couldn't sleep or eat with a mixture of excitement and nerves, then came what seemed like unending tiredness and a touch of postnatal depression (which thankfully I got sorted pretty quickly). Then we got settled into our weekly routine of groups and going out and about to see different friends and family which was a very happy time although not without its difficulties finding things to do that fitted in with both our routines. I found some groups daunting when older children were there running around and other groups were just at the wrong time of day. We went to weddings, I had my first night out, we had a family holiday, his Christening, Christmas and learning to feed him real food. (I never realised what a big deal I would think it was!)
Now he is pulling himself up, babbling, has 3 teeth and is looking like he is getting ready to take…

Happy Mother's Day

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I am struggling to know what to write on Mother's Day. A momentous day for a first time mum. Jacob has grown so much in the last 9 months and so much has changed already, I'm sure that nothing will prepare me for all the changes the next year will bring.

Today I have been thinking about my mum and how special she is to me, how much my life is affected by her. The line is blurred between mother and friend and our relationship is so important to me.

I wonder what effect I will have on Jacob's life and what I will mean to him as he grows...

I wouldn't change being a mum for anything, corny as it sounds. Days like this help me to think about who I want to be and what I need to do. First on the list ; bath, book, tea, muffin...

One Week In...

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One week into our new routine and although we got off to a bit of a bumpy ride (quite literally as Jacob is in that stage where he is bumping his head a lot as he learns to get around) now that week one has been endured I think that Jacob, parents and grandparents are all optimistic and getting used to it now.

I feel like I still have a little way to go until I am properly back into the swing of work but it's all coming back to me. My employers have been great in letting me settle in gently and I am really lucky.

I have come across people who are of the opinion that by going back to work I am going to be missing out on parts of my child's life and even that I have chosen money over time with my baby. This obviously upset me but having thought about it I have decided that going back to work 3 days of the week will give me a chance to be "me" as well as "mum" and pursue a career which will have many benefits for my child as well as for me and all of us as a f…

back to work

Today was my first day back at work after 9 months of maternity leave. Life has changed a lot in these last few months and everything seems different now. Going back to work has just highlighted this and I find myself thinking about who I am now that I am also a mum.

My baby is 9 months old and leaving him was a huge challenge. It seems like I have been counting down to this moment since he was first born and now the day has come it is just weird. I feel like I have been away forever and also that I was never away. I am the same person but so different now. I mostly feel this this tiny man has made me so much stronger. I have to be strong for him and if leaving him to work is part of that then I can do it. I feel guilty that I have to leave him but then I remember that to him it's probably no big deal and really it's just me who feels the strain. This theory seems to have been confirmed today after an eventful day with his grandparents he greeted me with a little smile when I…